Day Two of Round Two

Well, day one went very well. Billy napped some because he tired faster this time, but he also wanted to get out of his room and walk a lot today. He is doing well with the cabin fever this time so far. I really want to thank you all for praying, especially those of you who have specifically prayed for us not to get tense and stressed with the lack of sleep. No one has told me that they have prayed for us in that capacity (except you, Steph Reed) but I can tell some of you all have mentioned this to our Heavenly Father because I haven't felt my usual testiness with my lack of sleep. I am filled with an overwhelming amount of peace and I know that is coming from God alone!

Earlier tonight, Billy went to get out of bed and whacked his head on his IV pump. Ouch! When I got to him, there was a triangular shaped indention on his pretty bald head. It wasn't long before it started bleeding. Now, we had just told the doctor how careful we were being so that he does not get any kinds of wounds that might lead to an infection. Please pray that this little wound will not get infected like his last little wound did!

When I look at Billy resting in the bed, I am reminded of how gracious God has been to the two of us over the years. I am so thankful He has given us this love that amazes me more every day. I absolutely love that man more than I ever imagined possible! And I am also thankful for the cancer that has brought us new perspective. It has shown us how much we value our life together and it has shown us how loved and blessed we are by all of you! We give God all the glory that comes from this! He is awesome!

Day One of Round Two

Hello everyone, we are at Duke for Billy's second round of chemo. My computer is still giving me problems accessing Internet Explorer on Duke's network. I have a call into the Dell people but they have to call back when it is convenient for THEM. So, I am at Duke's library using one of their computers. Billy had a positive day yesterday. We knew from last time that the chemo doesn't get started until late on the first day so Billy and Grace came down for all of his Pre-Admit stuff and I went skating with AJ and our Homeschool Group. When I got here around 5:30, Billy was very happy with what the doctor told him... He may not have to do a third round as originally planned!! His doctor wants to do a CT scan two weeks after this round is over to determine if a third round of chemo is needed. Please, please take this to our Great Physician in prayer! We know He can use this second round to wipe out any remnants of the cancer so that a third round won't be needed.

As far as the chemo goes, I think the last bag of chemo was finished at 2am. I asked the residents this morning if they could ask Dr. Walther if the chemo could be moved up a few hours today so it doesn't go into the wee hours again tonight. We'll see! The good news is that they are not giving Billy six hours of the Manitol after the last chemo. This is what kept him getting up to flush his kidneys every 30-45 minutes last time. He was able to sleep a little more during the night because of that.

Thank you all for your prayers-we are so comforted by the fact that you all are praying. We love you all!

Morning Fog

Since we bought this place almost two years ago, I have wanted to take a picture of our family beside one of our sheds early in the morning with the fog in the background. Everytime I look at this shed early in the morning with the foggy cow pasture behind it, I kick myself for not being ready for the picture. Well, we needed to submit a family picture for the Homeschool Association's directory but I didn't have a very good recent picture of all three of us together. So, last night I told Billy we would take the picture before church this morning. Imagine my joy when I woke up to hear Billy say, "Maybe we should wait until this afternoon to take the picture because it is foggy outside." "Fog? YAY!!!" I thought, "Finally, we will all be here and dressed and ready for the ever elusive early morning scene I've been wanting to capture, fog and all!" Thank you God! He knew my vision and was gracious even in this simple wish.

Postponed

Hi everyone! I am so sorry I haven't kept you up to date this week. Billy's doctor decided to postpone his chemo for another week. He wants to make sure the infection doesn't come back once the antibiotics are out of his system. His last day of antibiotics was Saturday so we will see what happens this week. The plan is to start the second round on the 29th. Since he wasn't going back into the hospital this week, Billy requested that he be able to go to work this week. His doctor's nurse sent him a note releasing him to return to work. He is only staying in the office and must wear his mask if he is around people. Needless to say, I am battling my tendancy to panic over thoughts of possible germs and illnesses. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and if Billy gets sick this week, it was in God's plan.

Those of you praying for the baby we're being considered for, keep praying. We haven't heard back from our case worker this week. The last we heard was that the baby's case worker is considering us along with other homestudies. We are praying for God's hand to be in the inner workings of this situation. Thank you again for your prayers and concerns!! We love all of you!

"Happy Anniversary!"

Just as in the past 15 anniversaries, this morning I was awakened by a kiss and a "Happy Anniversary" from Billy. I went into AJ's room to wake him up and this is what transpired...
Me (sitting on the side of his bed)-"Good morning, it's time to start the day."
AJ (in that first of the morning voice)- "Happy Anniversary!"
Me- "Awe...how sweet that mommy and daddy's anniversary was the first thing on your mind this morning."
AJ (climbing over me and reaching for something on his bedside table) - "I had a really good hiding place!"
Then he proceeded to pull out two handmade cards from inside a CD case. One said, "Happy Anniversary Mommy!" (In red, my favorite color) and the other said, "Happy Anniversary Daddy!" (In blue, Billy's favorite color) They both said, "I love you and hope that you have a 'grate' anniversary!" on the inside. We are blown away by the sweetness of our little guy.
We are especially thankful that God has given us enough grace through the years to enable us to have this day, our 16th wedding anniversary!

Rejoicing With the Angels!

During this stormy season in our lives, our little boy felt God's tug on his heart. Several weeks ago, just before taking communion, we were listening to our preacher talk about how we should take it very seriously and not just do it out of habit, but to really remember what Jesus went through for us. He spoke about the suffering He went through to save us from our sins, to save us from awful circumstances from which we can do nothing to save ourselves. He spoke about how Jesus is still working in our lives today in every situation we find ourselves. Billy and I looked down at our precious child sitting between us. He was sobbing. He couldn't catch his breath. This caused Billy and me to cry. Once we regained control, I asked AJ why he was crying, and between choked breaths and streams of tears he said, "because of all that Jesus did for me." We have known from the time AJ was a very young age that he loves Jesus and could sense His presence. At the age of two, he cried tender, silent tears when I sat him on my lap and sang "I Love You Lord." At the age of three, he looked at a picture of Jesus swinging with children and said, "Mommy, I miss Jesus." When he said that, I knew that my baby came straight from the arms of Jesus because he spoke with such certainty that he had surely been with Him before. He would look up at a radiant patch of clouds with sunbeams streaming through and say, "Is that heaven?" or "Is that the door to heaven?" There have been many other moments since. But in that moment at church looking down at our sobbing son, we realized something new. He understands. His heart was breaking for Jesus. So this morning while our preacher and worship team led our church family in singing Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace (the version with the "My chains are gone, I've been set free" verse) AJ was burried with Christ in baptism. And Billy got to see it! Hallelujah!

Fuzzy Lover?

I am going to have to come up with a new nickname for my fuzzy lover! He's not so fuzzy anymore. Just about all of the hair on his head is gone, his mustache and goatee are gone (I haven't seen his chin in 10 years), his eye brows are starting to look a bit splotchy, and the hair on his arms, chest, and legs gets thinner with every shower. I caught him napping just now and he looked so peaceful I had to take a picture. Isn't he beautiful! The perfect peace of the Lord is so awesome!

Reflections

As we sit here waiting for Billy's discharge papers, I have been reading over all the emails and messages that we have received this week. I wanted to share with you one particular moving message we received. It was actually posted as a comment on one of my earlier posts on this blog. We have some close friends traveling in Europe this week. They sent us a message that said, " Dear Bill and Carrie, we are in Switzerland today. Just wanted you to know that we prayed for you from one of the highest mountain tops today." I choke up everytime I read it. What a powerful vision in so many ways. Mountains are used in God's Word to depict power, strength, and high places. The very fact that mountains are so very high gives a person the sense that being on one is being physically closer to the heavens. I think of the Mount of Transfiguration where Jesus revealed his blinding glory to Peter, James, and John while in the presence of Moses and Elijah. In the middle of Peter, James, and John's "what should we do" moment, God spoke to them from a cloud telling them to LISTEN TO JESUS!! I think about Mount Sinai where God gave Moses the law. I think about Mount Moriah where God appeared to David and David's son, Solomon later built the temple of the Lord. God did big things on mountain tops. And so we are very moved and honored that our friends took our needs to our heavenly Father on a high mountain top.

Going Home!!

The residents just made their rounds and said Billy is clear to go home. His white blood cell count is 5.9 today!!!! Yay!! 5.0 is normal for a healthy person so 5.9 is awesome for a chemo patient. He has to have a dental x-ray on Monday at our dentist to determine if there is anything else going on in that gum area that was so swollen. They don't want to take any chances of that problem reoccurring. Once we do that, they will let us know when Billy needs to be back for his second round of chemo. Your emails, texts, and calls have kept us from going crazy during this unexpected stay at Duke. We truly thank our Lord for all of you!

We're Getting There!

Billy's lab work taken this morning shows that his white blood cell count is going up...2500!!! We felt like it would be up b/c he woke up feeling good this morning. THe swelling in his gums is down to the point that he can put his teeth together. Annnddd, his headache is gone! "You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?" ~2Samuel 22:29-32 (Thanks to Steph Reed for sending us this encouragement from God's Word yesterday!)

Billy's doctors have told him that he can go home tomorrow. We will have to wait and see when they want to start his next round of chemo. It was scheduled to begin Monday, the 15th, but it will be delayed a bit because of this episode. Thank you for going through this with us-we have felt you and God with us all along! We love you all!

Neutropenic Precautions

Sounds very scary and technical, huh? Well, this is just a fancy term that means Billy's white blood cell count is extremely low and he needs to be extra careful about being around germs. When we had his blood work done yesterday, it was 1.1 (or 1100). Once his doctor found this out, he decided to admit Billy until his count is back up. I've learned over the past few days that if a person's white blood cell count is low, their body cannot fight off illnesses or infections. For example, Billy had a sore on his gum in the back of his mouth (which is common in chemo patients). Ordinarily something like that would have healed up in a few days but apparently that sore is the culprit of his fever and his headache. Because his wbc count is so low, that little sore got infected. That evidently caused the fever he was running over the weekend and his awful headache he's had since Friday. Since he has been here they have been giving him antibiotics and they appear to be working. Gradually, the pain in his face, neck and head has eased today. They are also giving him a drug that will increase his white blood cells. This will take a few days to get his wbc's back up to normal.

The good news is the chest x-ray was negative! Praise God! His doctor also wanted to do a CT scan on his head just to be sure his headache wasn't the result of something more serious. The resident came in as I was writing the first paragraph to let us know that the "preliminary" results of the CT scan on Billy's head are good. Praise God, Praise God!!!

I will be able to communicate with you all via email while we are here. I don't answer my phone if Billy is sleeping b/c my talking wakes him up. Through email, I can maintain my contact with the outside world without disturbing him. As always, we thank you for praying without ceasing!

Restless Night

Good morning friends! As a lot of you know, Billy started running a fever yesterday evening. I had taken AJ to Awana and left Billy to rest. He called me to tell me he started feeling bad so he took his temperature and it was 100.1. I went straight home to call the doctor. By the time I had gotten home Billy had taken some tylenol. When I called the resident on call, he said to let the tylenol wear off and see what the fever did then. If it reached 100.5, we needed to take him to Duke immediately. We kept a check on it through the night and it never got above 99.6. I know those of you who knew about the fever were praying fervently and now we can thank God for answering those prayers! I spoke to his doctor's nurse first thing this morning. She spoke to Dr. Walther and called back. He wants Billy to come in tomorrow for a chest x-ray and have his counts done again. He has had a cough since Friday so I guess they want to make sure he doesn't have something going on in his lungs that may have caused the fever. Thank you all so much for praying and we ask that you continue to lift Billy up to the great Physician. I will try to post updates as soon as I can. It is so touching to know that several of you had Billy on your mind first thing this morning. Thank you for calling, emailing and posting on Facebook so early this morning! We are so grateful to our Lord for surrounding us with such faithful prayer warriors!

White Blood Cells

Okay, we knew that chemo kills rapidly growing cancer cells, and we also knew that it could attack Billy's white blood cells. However, we weren't expecting it to attack so many of them! We found out today that his white blood cell count is 2200. Normal is 5000. I know! Not good! Since those little white blood cells are what fight off illnesses, Billy needs to be especially careful about not getting exposed to ANYTHING. His body is very susceptible to infection right now. I'm thinking those little blue face masks that doctors and nurses wear during surgery would be a great addition to his everyday attire! (I don't think he will agree with that though.) They want his count to be at least 3000 before next Monday ( Sept. 15 ), or they will have to postpone his second round of chemo until his counts are up. When I called him with the news, he very wisely decided to come home and rest. Do any of you know what kinds of foods/supplements he should be eating to boost his counts? His doctor's nurse said there isn't much he can do to boost them b/c the chemo is killing them off right now. Please pray that our Lord, the Master Physician and creator of Billy's innermost being, will knit an abundance of those white blood cells and keep him healthy through this. In spite of today's news, we praise our precious God and Father.

So Far So Good!

We've received a lot of emails and calls asking if everything is okay. It seems my lack of posts these last few days has some of you concerned! How very honored we are that you all are keeping such close tabs on Billy's progress. He is doing wonderfully well! He has been able to eat most anything I put in front of him. The only side effect he's had since returning home are these awful red bumps all over his face and body. He looks like a cross between a 15 year old going through puberty and a burn victim. I thought he was handsome when he was a zit-faced 15-year-old and I still think he is handsome, red bumps and all!

He has been going to work, but is taking it easy. He has a great group of guys on his crew that are not going to let him overdo it. I don't think they are letting him do much of anything at all to tell you the truth! He is blessed to work with such a great group of men. Being able to go in to work is allowing him to save what sick time he has left for the second and third rounds of chemo.

Once again, I need to express our gratitude for your calls, cards, emails, and texts. If the giver of the anonymous gift that arrived today is reading our blog, we want you to know that we are humbled and so very thankful. We are told in His word that God will provide and that all our needs will be met. It is through all of you that God is doing this. We humbly thank you for being His vessels!

Slowly But Surely!

Billy is slowly getting his appetite back. Yesterday, some friends brought us a delicious roast, potatoes, butterbeans, corn, and rolls. He was able to eat all of it and it actually tasted right to him. He even had extra servings of the roast. Later in the evening, he had another full plate. I've never been so happy to see him eat so much! We were pleasantly surprised last night by another friend bringing a french toast casserole for today's breakfast and home made potato soup for today's lunch. He ate two servings of the casserole this morning and a big bowl of the soup for lunch. We thank God that he is able to eat so well and we thank God for blessing us with so many wonderful friends who are looking after us during this time in our life. We truly are so blessed by your love for us!

Home Sweet Home

Yay!!! Billy was discharged from Duke this morning! We are so very happy just to be at home. He is very tired and has napped most of the day. I also took advantage of the beep-free environment and slept for a solid, uninterupted hour and a half today! Woo Hoo!!! The challenge now will be to find food that tastes good to Billy. So far, the only two things he has been able to eat that tastes right to him are a cheeseburger and a ham and cheese on a sun-dried tomato wrap. Time will tell...

As I look back on this past week, I am so very grateful for everyone's calls, cards, texts, and emails. You all have been a great source of encouragement! We thank our Lord for our family and friends! God has been so gracious in giving Billy strength and health through this intense week of chemo. We thank Him above all for being our portion this week!

Day Five of Round One

Today is day five of round one. Billy's fever reached 102.5 last night, which had me concerned. The doctors were sure it was just from them doubling the rate of his bleomycin, so they did not do any testing for infections. Each day I gain a new appreciation for the specialists that work here. They work here for a reason-they know their stuff! One hour after the bleomycin was finished dripping, Billy's fever began to drop. By 1:30am it was normal again! Praise God!!! He was actually able to sleep well in between bathroom runs so he woke up feeling better today. He is still extremely tired and hasn't left his room though. He has spent much of the day napping, as he should! He isn't feeling like eating much either. Nothing tastes good to him. The only thing he has eaten consistently is my homemade banana pudding. He couldn't eat the marange (sp?) last night, but has eaten two full helpings today. I'm not sure if it really still tastes good to him or if he is just eating it to make me feel good??? The doctors say he will be able to go home tomorrow. YAY!!! He will have two weeks at home to rest and then we'll be back here for Round Two. We are so very thankful for all of your prayers and continue to covet them.

Day Four of Round One

Today is day four of Billy's first round of chemo. This is the first day that he has shown any side effects. He has been very tired, so tired that he hasn't been down to get one cup of Starbuck's. He hasn't even had one sip of coffee today. Those of you who know him well, know how bad he is feeling to not have had any coffee. Around 3:30, he started running a fever and having cold chills. A little while later a headache was added to the mix. The nurse paged the doctor and when he called back, he said he is positive that this is a result of the increased rate of Bleomycin. This is the chemo that they have been dripping into his IV over a 24 hour period for the last two days. He was suppose to start the third bag at 5am this morning, but due to some delays yesterday and last night, they had to alter this chemo. They are now dripping at twice the rate so that it will be done in 12 hours. Getting this chemo twice as fast as usual is causing his body to react. (You think?!) They gave him some tylenol and it helped the headache some, but he is still running a fever. Please join us in telling Satan that he will not discourage our hearts- "If God is for us, who can be against us?~Romans 8:31!!!!!!!".
As I sit here reading God's word for something to write in this post that will express how we are feeling, God is pouring out His wisdom and encouragement.
We will continue to lean on the Lord for our strength and trust Him for Billy's healing. "We lift our eyes to the hills, where does our help come from? Our help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." ~Psalm 121:1-2
We will praise God in this storm. "Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul. We will praise the Lord all our life. We will sing praise to our God as long as we live." ~Psalm 146:1-2
We will hold firm to the fact that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28
And we will thank God and praise Him in advance for what is yet to come. "We consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." ~Romans 8:18 and "And the God of all grace, who called Billy to His eternal glory in Christ, after he has suffered a little while, will Himself restore Billy and make him strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen." ~1Peter 5:10-11 and finally, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4

I am so thankful for God's word, especially in a time like this when His is the only voice that can truly calm me.

Day Three of Round One

Today is Day Three of round one! I have been battling technical problems so I have had to do all three posts today. Billy has his little buddy with him today. This has made both of my boys very happy! He is able to lay here in his bed and get his chemo while cuddling with AJ. What a blessing! He is still feeling well despite sleep deprivation. We are so thankful God is keeping him well during his chemo. We know it could be a lot worse. It is still very difficult for me to watch them hang those bags of chemo and hook them into his port. The logical side of me cringes at the thought of poison being pumped through his veins, but we have to look at it as God using even something so toxic as chemo to heal Billy. I have to remind myself that God knows Billy's body better than anyone and can protect him from the dangers of chemo while allowing it to kill the cancer. Billy remains in good spirits and praises our God for everything, even this vey disease that has us here.

Day Two of Round One

Day Two and, although we aren't getting any sleep at night, Billy is still feeling fine. They have him on a tremendous amount of IV fluids as well as a diuretic to cause him to flush his kidneys quite regularly. This , along with those sweet little girls that come in all night to get vitals, is keeping us both from getting any real sleep. Each time he wakes to go to the restroom, I awake with a start, fearful that this will be the time he gets sick. So far, God is blessing him with a strong stomach. The lack of sleep is not bringing out the best in either of us so we were a bit touchy with each other in the morning. We realized that Satan was trying to attack the weak spots, prayed, and moved on. The day went by quickly and before we knew it, it was time for his second dose of chemo. He handled the second day just as well as the first! God is faithful!!! The picture is of Billy while on one if his "walkabouts", as he calls them. As a chemo patient, he is allowed to go wherever he wants-even outside! He just pulls his little IV pole with him. This has helped with the cabin fever. All of you know how very restless he is when he is made to stay inside. Getting out and about really lifts his spirits. We went outside last night to get some fresh air and on the way back in, the security guard asked us if we had an overnight pass. Ha! Billy and I pointed at the IV pole and he said to the security guard, "Does this count?" This cracked us up!