Photo Shoots

I have had several photo shoots this fall. My first of the season was of a friend's boys and AJ for their yearbook pictures. The boys totally hammed it up and gave me some great shots. The next was of a friend's family at her family's farm. This shoot was done while the leaves were colorful and turned out awesome. She ordered a 20x24 canvas and it blew me away to see my work so large and looking so much like art. Another was of our Pastor's family. We also did this one while the leaves were colorful. They were very compliant as I took them from one spot to the next. I had a hard time choosing a favorite from this shoot because they are such a beautiful family so I am posting several. I have already posted some pics from my photo shoot with Steph and Bella. (I know I am biased but I love those the most!) Late November brought on cold weather and I only had one family to brave to cold outdoors for a photo shoot. I laugh when I look at these pics because everyone was freezing to death during this shoot. I'll be lucky if Patrick (the daddy) ever steps in front of my lens again. The other shoots came in December and were taken for Christmas cards. I had fun doing these because these were my first indoor sessions with studio lighting. Here is a sample of each session in order...

Yearbook pics for my friend's boys




My friend's family at her family's farm






Our Pastor's family-thanks for being so patient!



Our friends who braved the freezing temps!



My little man!!



Our friends' girls



Another friend's kids



At my friend's house; her two boys and her niece and nephew


My little man and "the four E's" (All the Steil grandkids)

Thanksgiving with Bella and Stephy

We had A LOT to be thankful for this Thanksgiving! Even though Billy's cancer diagnosis and treatments were scary and challenging, we are thankful for the experience. We have learned so much, our faith has been made stronger, and we have had the honor of being used by God for His purposes. We were faced with a situation that we could not imagine was in any way for our good (Romans 8:28), but then God showed us that it was not about our good this time. This was about Him using our situation for the good of others. I cannot describe how cool this felt! And then we experienced such an outpouring of love and generosity from those we know and those we do not know. I don't think either of us would change the events of this year. (Well, I would not like to see Billy so sick and in pain.) The cancer ended up blessing us more than a multitude of "good blessings" could have. In the end, we gained so much from the whole experience and are better off than if the cancer had never happened.

As far as the actual holiday, it was one of the best Thanksgiving weekends I've had in a while. Stephy and Bella came from Norfolk and stayed until Monday. Having Bella in the house was such a joy. We all went through Bella withdrawals within an hour of their departure! Steph and I had many laughs and got to enjoy a rush-free weekend together. Although, there was one particular moment in which I thought we would both fall to our death trying to bring Christmas bins up from the basement. I learned that you should never laugh hysterically while trying to carry bins stacked three high up a very steep set of basement stairs! Poor Steph, she was on the lower end of those bins and just about had her head knocked off by them. I don't know how we came through that one without any bruises.

We also got to get some photos of Bella. We have tried since that baby girl was born to get some shots of her smiling her sweet smile, but could never capture it. She would end up sucking on her bottom lip (we have affectionately dubbed this her "Bucky Beaver" pose) and playing with her eye lashes (which I find extremely adorable). Since I am still an amateur at my photography passion, I am always looking for subjects on which to practice. Steph has been so very patient with my ideas for pictures. A few of the shots are below!

A Burden is Lifted

Billy had his blood work and CT scan on Monday and we got the results today. Everything looks good! There is one cancer marker that was not zero but his doctor feels that this is probably hormone related. Once his testosterone levels are back to normal he thinks that marker will return to zero. He will have to have blood work, a CT scan, and a chest x-ray every three months for the first year as a precaution. When the doctor left the room to write Billy's prescriptions, we wept tears of joy as we thanked our Heavenly Father for His mercy. We know God has used this season in our life for very specific reasons and we thank Him for those we are aware of as well as those we aren't aware of yet.

We cannot thank all of you enough for your faithfulness in praying for Billy. We also are so very thankful for the love you have shown us. We have actually thanked God and continue to thank God for the cancer because we have grown so much because of it!

Day Five of Round Three

Hi everyone! Today is the last day of Billy's chemotherapy treatments here at Duke! We are trusting God that he will not ever have to have chemo again! He comes back on November 17 for a CT scan to make sure all signs of cancer are gone. We cannot tell you all enough how much your prayers, cards, visits, calls, and financial support have meant to us over the past three months. You all have shown us so much love and encouragement and we truly thank our Lord for blessing us with all of you! On a sadder note, our neighbor (mentioned in yesterday's post) passed away during the night. We ask that you please lift his family up in prayer as they deal with the days and weeks ahead.

Day Four of Round Three

Billy woke up feeling good again this morning. We took a trip down to eat breakfast and then stopped on the fourth floor to visit our neighbors who are here with their son, Denny. Once we were back in the room, he slept for a few hours. He felt like making one more trip down to see our friends but has been laying down most of the day. Although he is very tired, sitting with Denny's family has given us perspective. Denny is an eighteen year old boy who has never known normal. He has been battling medical conditions his entire life. He was diagnosed with brain cancer a little over two years ago. The cancer has been uncontrollable since this summer. He has been here at Duke since August. They have taken him off of life-support and are riding the horrible rollercoaster called waiting. Denny's heart is strong but the cancer is taking over. The doctor told them this morning it could be 12 hours or three days. I overheard the doctor say "end of life care" this morning when speaking to his mom. Please join us in praying for this family as they struggle with wanting their loved-one to be granted a miracle but at the same time want his suffering to end. This boy loves our Lord so we know what is waiting for him when he leaves this life, but he will be leaving behind a large family who loves him very much.

Day Three of Round Three

Praise God!! Billy is feeling good and it is WEDNESDAY!! Wednesday is usually the day that he takes a turn for the bad so this is so awesome! He is a little puffy from the fluids being pumped into his body, but he feels good! He has been doing a lot of walking and is able to eat well this time around!!! Thank you for praying and please continue to pray him through this week! We love you all!!

Day Two of Round Three

Billy is feeling well after his second day of chemo. As with the last two rounds, he is having to get up a lot during the night to drain his bladder but that only means his kidneys are functioning well. However, he did sleep well in between trips to the potty. He is getting out and about more as long as he rests frequently. Thank you all so much for praying for him!!

Day One of Round Three

Billy is doing well after his first day of his third round of chemo. He had to wait quite a while yesterday to be admitted because they somehow sent his bloodwork to the wrong lab so he was very tired when he finally got to his room. However, he slept well last night so he feels good today. He does not have to have the Bleomycin this round so we're hoping this round won't be so bad. During the last two rounds, Wednesday has been the day when he begins to feel bad so we'll see how things are tomorrow. Thank you for all of your prayers - they are working! Praise God!!

School Picture

This is AJ's school picture for the fall. He's such a ham!

Praising God

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on Billy. He has been feeling good for the last week and a half. He gets very tired and has to take it easy but he has had no sickness. He is also able to eat a little more than after the first round of chemo. Things still taste funny to him but he is able to tolerate more this time. I compare him to a pregnant woman because he has definite cravings as well as definite disgusts. He is no longer radiating heat as he use to do, but is now very cold-natured. Everyone comments on how good he looks also. He is not ashy looking like a lot of chemo patients; his coloring remains normal. His next round of chemo is scheduled for next week. We are so very thankful to our Great Physician for keeping him healthy this time around. And we are so very thankful to all of you who are praying him through this!

"Birthday Buddies"

AJ and his buddies. Their birthdays are all two days apart (with AJ's sandwiched in the middle) so I have dubbed them the "Birthday Buddies." We even had one big joint party for them two years ago. I took this picture after doing all of their school pictures for our Homeschool Yearbook. They were so happy to change shirts and shoes so they could play.

Keeping His Eye on the Ball

Another picture of AJ playing golf. We will both be glad when Billy is well enough to take his little buddy golfing again.

Skating Fun

Our homeschool group goes skating once a month and this past Monday was the first skate day of the year. AJ has been to many skating birthday parties, but always hanged onto the wall the entire time. Not this time! It was as if he had broken out of an invisible shell. He had the best time skating and crashing with his friends!

Pictures of Our Stay at Duke

We got home around noon yesterday. We were so totally pooped that we spent the day sleeping. Billy's doctor did decide to go ahead and do the third round of chemo. If Billy stays well during his two week break, his next round of chemo should begin on the 20th. We're almost there...the end is in sight. :)

Billy (and his sidekick) while on one of our walks early in the week.

We had beautiful sunsets every night.

Enjoying our outdoor prayer date.

Day Five of Round Two

Prayer Date
This morning when Billy rolled over and said "Good Morning," he also said, "I want us to go on a prayer date this morning." I, in turn, said, "Okay, where do you want to go on this date?" He said , "I want to get dressed, go get some coffee, and go outside to the courtyard." I cannot tell you how happy I was to hear him say he felt well enough to get dressed, let alone go outside! We showered, got dressed, got our Starbuck's and headed to the courtyard (IV pole in tow). It was his first breath of fresh air since Monday morning and the best hour since we've been here. There is just something special about talking with God while in the middle of His creation with no roof separating you from the heavens. It was hard to tear ourselves away from our bench and go back inside. Had it not been for Billy's bladder calling, we would have stayed all morning! Thank you all once again for praying us through this week!

Evening of Day Four of Round Two

Today has gone very well. Billy has been on three walks and has eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner! He has rested a lot in between his walks and doesn't appear to be retaining fluid any longer. They have not changed anything they have been doing so we are contributing all of these wonderful things to God alone. There is power in prayer!!

The only negative today was his vein blowing. His arm started swelling at the IV site, which meant that the vein had blown and the chemo was going into his tissue. This IV had one purpose; they were dripping his Bleomycin into this IV instead of his port this time. They did this because last time, one of the nurses got his Bleo messed up because she left it disconnected for several hours to drip the other chemos. This would have been fine, but she messed up the other chemos' schedules also, so the Bleo was stopped for way too long. Then they had to drip the Bleo at twice the normal rate so that it would be finished by Thursday night. That is what caused Billy to run the fever during his first round. Anyway, Billy's doctor did NOT want that Bleo messed up again so he ordered an IV site specifically for the Bleo so it would not be interrupted this time. Since the Bleo only had another 5 hours to drip before he was completely done with it this round, we weren't sure what they would do when his vein blew, but were happy when the answer came. The doctor told them to connect the Bleo to Billy's port and just terminate it when it was time to start the pre-hydration and anti-nausea meds tonight. Sooo, as of 7:00pm tonight, Billy is done with Bleomycin! Since he has had his lifetime allowance of this drug, he does not EVER have to do Bleo again! Praise God! The Bleo is the chemo that makes him so sick. He tends to tolerate the other two better. So, he is one happy little camper right now!

Day Four of Round Two

Thank you, thank you , thank you, Jesus! I know all of our prayer warriors were on their knees last night because Billy woke up feeling somewhat better this morning. His body is still whipped and so very tired, but he got out of bed this morning! He couldn't do that yesterday. He took a walk down the hall and back and even felt like taking a shower. Of course, once he did all of that he hit the bed and is sleeping hard right now. We thank God for all of you who are praying for us!

Evening of Day Three of Round Two

Today has definitely been "Hump Day." Billy has had ups and downs today. (More downs than ups, but we'll take what we can get!) The diuretic has been working wonderfully. As of 5:00pm, Billy has peed 5 liters today! Whew....lots of potty time! He is so very tired; he can hardly hold his head up off the pillow. We've had a few nausea scares. This is the first time he has felt nauseated to the point that he thought he would throw up. I got the nurse and she quickly gave him some anti-nausea medicine in his IV both times. I'm sure it would have just been dry heaves since he has had NO appetite today. I finally convinced him to eat a PB&J sandwich at 6:00pm. That was the first solid thing he has eaten today.

Although it has been a rough day, we realize it could be a lot worse. Our heart goes out to the other patients and their families, who are very sick during chemo. We thank our Lord that Billy has tolerated his chemo rounds so well. Please continue to pray for his strength and endurance.

Day Three of Round Two

Good morning everyone! So far today, it looks like Wednesday will be the turning point again. We noticed early on yesterday that Billy was starting to swell faster than before. Well, he was weighed this morning and has gained 10 pounds in fluid. His doctor came in himself to tell us that Billy needs to be put on a diuretic to get rid of some of this fluid. A little while later he said his stomach didn't feel quite right so they gave him some anti-nausea medicine. Please lift him up in prayer today. I will post more updates later this afternoon when I get a chance.

Day Two of Round Two

Well, day one went very well. Billy napped some because he tired faster this time, but he also wanted to get out of his room and walk a lot today. He is doing well with the cabin fever this time so far. I really want to thank you all for praying, especially those of you who have specifically prayed for us not to get tense and stressed with the lack of sleep. No one has told me that they have prayed for us in that capacity (except you, Steph Reed) but I can tell some of you all have mentioned this to our Heavenly Father because I haven't felt my usual testiness with my lack of sleep. I am filled with an overwhelming amount of peace and I know that is coming from God alone!

Earlier tonight, Billy went to get out of bed and whacked his head on his IV pump. Ouch! When I got to him, there was a triangular shaped indention on his pretty bald head. It wasn't long before it started bleeding. Now, we had just told the doctor how careful we were being so that he does not get any kinds of wounds that might lead to an infection. Please pray that this little wound will not get infected like his last little wound did!

When I look at Billy resting in the bed, I am reminded of how gracious God has been to the two of us over the years. I am so thankful He has given us this love that amazes me more every day. I absolutely love that man more than I ever imagined possible! And I am also thankful for the cancer that has brought us new perspective. It has shown us how much we value our life together and it has shown us how loved and blessed we are by all of you! We give God all the glory that comes from this! He is awesome!

Day One of Round Two

Hello everyone, we are at Duke for Billy's second round of chemo. My computer is still giving me problems accessing Internet Explorer on Duke's network. I have a call into the Dell people but they have to call back when it is convenient for THEM. So, I am at Duke's library using one of their computers. Billy had a positive day yesterday. We knew from last time that the chemo doesn't get started until late on the first day so Billy and Grace came down for all of his Pre-Admit stuff and I went skating with AJ and our Homeschool Group. When I got here around 5:30, Billy was very happy with what the doctor told him... He may not have to do a third round as originally planned!! His doctor wants to do a CT scan two weeks after this round is over to determine if a third round of chemo is needed. Please, please take this to our Great Physician in prayer! We know He can use this second round to wipe out any remnants of the cancer so that a third round won't be needed.

As far as the chemo goes, I think the last bag of chemo was finished at 2am. I asked the residents this morning if they could ask Dr. Walther if the chemo could be moved up a few hours today so it doesn't go into the wee hours again tonight. We'll see! The good news is that they are not giving Billy six hours of the Manitol after the last chemo. This is what kept him getting up to flush his kidneys every 30-45 minutes last time. He was able to sleep a little more during the night because of that.

Thank you all for your prayers-we are so comforted by the fact that you all are praying. We love you all!

Morning Fog

Since we bought this place almost two years ago, I have wanted to take a picture of our family beside one of our sheds early in the morning with the fog in the background. Everytime I look at this shed early in the morning with the foggy cow pasture behind it, I kick myself for not being ready for the picture. Well, we needed to submit a family picture for the Homeschool Association's directory but I didn't have a very good recent picture of all three of us together. So, last night I told Billy we would take the picture before church this morning. Imagine my joy when I woke up to hear Billy say, "Maybe we should wait until this afternoon to take the picture because it is foggy outside." "Fog? YAY!!!" I thought, "Finally, we will all be here and dressed and ready for the ever elusive early morning scene I've been wanting to capture, fog and all!" Thank you God! He knew my vision and was gracious even in this simple wish.

Postponed

Hi everyone! I am so sorry I haven't kept you up to date this week. Billy's doctor decided to postpone his chemo for another week. He wants to make sure the infection doesn't come back once the antibiotics are out of his system. His last day of antibiotics was Saturday so we will see what happens this week. The plan is to start the second round on the 29th. Since he wasn't going back into the hospital this week, Billy requested that he be able to go to work this week. His doctor's nurse sent him a note releasing him to return to work. He is only staying in the office and must wear his mask if he is around people. Needless to say, I am battling my tendancy to panic over thoughts of possible germs and illnesses. I have to keep reminding myself that God is in control and if Billy gets sick this week, it was in God's plan.

Those of you praying for the baby we're being considered for, keep praying. We haven't heard back from our case worker this week. The last we heard was that the baby's case worker is considering us along with other homestudies. We are praying for God's hand to be in the inner workings of this situation. Thank you again for your prayers and concerns!! We love all of you!

"Happy Anniversary!"

Just as in the past 15 anniversaries, this morning I was awakened by a kiss and a "Happy Anniversary" from Billy. I went into AJ's room to wake him up and this is what transpired...
Me (sitting on the side of his bed)-"Good morning, it's time to start the day."
AJ (in that first of the morning voice)- "Happy Anniversary!"
Me- "Awe...how sweet that mommy and daddy's anniversary was the first thing on your mind this morning."
AJ (climbing over me and reaching for something on his bedside table) - "I had a really good hiding place!"
Then he proceeded to pull out two handmade cards from inside a CD case. One said, "Happy Anniversary Mommy!" (In red, my favorite color) and the other said, "Happy Anniversary Daddy!" (In blue, Billy's favorite color) They both said, "I love you and hope that you have a 'grate' anniversary!" on the inside. We are blown away by the sweetness of our little guy.
We are especially thankful that God has given us enough grace through the years to enable us to have this day, our 16th wedding anniversary!

Rejoicing With the Angels!

During this stormy season in our lives, our little boy felt God's tug on his heart. Several weeks ago, just before taking communion, we were listening to our preacher talk about how we should take it very seriously and not just do it out of habit, but to really remember what Jesus went through for us. He spoke about the suffering He went through to save us from our sins, to save us from awful circumstances from which we can do nothing to save ourselves. He spoke about how Jesus is still working in our lives today in every situation we find ourselves. Billy and I looked down at our precious child sitting between us. He was sobbing. He couldn't catch his breath. This caused Billy and me to cry. Once we regained control, I asked AJ why he was crying, and between choked breaths and streams of tears he said, "because of all that Jesus did for me." We have known from the time AJ was a very young age that he loves Jesus and could sense His presence. At the age of two, he cried tender, silent tears when I sat him on my lap and sang "I Love You Lord." At the age of three, he looked at a picture of Jesus swinging with children and said, "Mommy, I miss Jesus." When he said that, I knew that my baby came straight from the arms of Jesus because he spoke with such certainty that he had surely been with Him before. He would look up at a radiant patch of clouds with sunbeams streaming through and say, "Is that heaven?" or "Is that the door to heaven?" There have been many other moments since. But in that moment at church looking down at our sobbing son, we realized something new. He understands. His heart was breaking for Jesus. So this morning while our preacher and worship team led our church family in singing Chris Tomlin's version of Amazing Grace (the version with the "My chains are gone, I've been set free" verse) AJ was burried with Christ in baptism. And Billy got to see it! Hallelujah!

Fuzzy Lover?

I am going to have to come up with a new nickname for my fuzzy lover! He's not so fuzzy anymore. Just about all of the hair on his head is gone, his mustache and goatee are gone (I haven't seen his chin in 10 years), his eye brows are starting to look a bit splotchy, and the hair on his arms, chest, and legs gets thinner with every shower. I caught him napping just now and he looked so peaceful I had to take a picture. Isn't he beautiful! The perfect peace of the Lord is so awesome!

Reflections

As we sit here waiting for Billy's discharge papers, I have been reading over all the emails and messages that we have received this week. I wanted to share with you one particular moving message we received. It was actually posted as a comment on one of my earlier posts on this blog. We have some close friends traveling in Europe this week. They sent us a message that said, " Dear Bill and Carrie, we are in Switzerland today. Just wanted you to know that we prayed for you from one of the highest mountain tops today." I choke up everytime I read it. What a powerful vision in so many ways. Mountains are used in God's Word to depict power, strength, and high places. The very fact that mountains are so very high gives a person the sense that being on one is being physically closer to the heavens. I think of the Mount of Transfiguration where Jesus revealed his blinding glory to Peter, James, and John while in the presence of Moses and Elijah. In the middle of Peter, James, and John's "what should we do" moment, God spoke to them from a cloud telling them to LISTEN TO JESUS!! I think about Mount Sinai where God gave Moses the law. I think about Mount Moriah where God appeared to David and David's son, Solomon later built the temple of the Lord. God did big things on mountain tops. And so we are very moved and honored that our friends took our needs to our heavenly Father on a high mountain top.

Going Home!!

The residents just made their rounds and said Billy is clear to go home. His white blood cell count is 5.9 today!!!! Yay!! 5.0 is normal for a healthy person so 5.9 is awesome for a chemo patient. He has to have a dental x-ray on Monday at our dentist to determine if there is anything else going on in that gum area that was so swollen. They don't want to take any chances of that problem reoccurring. Once we do that, they will let us know when Billy needs to be back for his second round of chemo. Your emails, texts, and calls have kept us from going crazy during this unexpected stay at Duke. We truly thank our Lord for all of you!

We're Getting There!

Billy's lab work taken this morning shows that his white blood cell count is going up...2500!!! We felt like it would be up b/c he woke up feeling good this morning. THe swelling in his gums is down to the point that he can put his teeth together. Annnddd, his headache is gone! "You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?" ~2Samuel 22:29-32 (Thanks to Steph Reed for sending us this encouragement from God's Word yesterday!)

Billy's doctors have told him that he can go home tomorrow. We will have to wait and see when they want to start his next round of chemo. It was scheduled to begin Monday, the 15th, but it will be delayed a bit because of this episode. Thank you for going through this with us-we have felt you and God with us all along! We love you all!

Neutropenic Precautions

Sounds very scary and technical, huh? Well, this is just a fancy term that means Billy's white blood cell count is extremely low and he needs to be extra careful about being around germs. When we had his blood work done yesterday, it was 1.1 (or 1100). Once his doctor found this out, he decided to admit Billy until his count is back up. I've learned over the past few days that if a person's white blood cell count is low, their body cannot fight off illnesses or infections. For example, Billy had a sore on his gum in the back of his mouth (which is common in chemo patients). Ordinarily something like that would have healed up in a few days but apparently that sore is the culprit of his fever and his headache. Because his wbc count is so low, that little sore got infected. That evidently caused the fever he was running over the weekend and his awful headache he's had since Friday. Since he has been here they have been giving him antibiotics and they appear to be working. Gradually, the pain in his face, neck and head has eased today. They are also giving him a drug that will increase his white blood cells. This will take a few days to get his wbc's back up to normal.

The good news is the chest x-ray was negative! Praise God! His doctor also wanted to do a CT scan on his head just to be sure his headache wasn't the result of something more serious. The resident came in as I was writing the first paragraph to let us know that the "preliminary" results of the CT scan on Billy's head are good. Praise God, Praise God!!!

I will be able to communicate with you all via email while we are here. I don't answer my phone if Billy is sleeping b/c my talking wakes him up. Through email, I can maintain my contact with the outside world without disturbing him. As always, we thank you for praying without ceasing!

Restless Night

Good morning friends! As a lot of you know, Billy started running a fever yesterday evening. I had taken AJ to Awana and left Billy to rest. He called me to tell me he started feeling bad so he took his temperature and it was 100.1. I went straight home to call the doctor. By the time I had gotten home Billy had taken some tylenol. When I called the resident on call, he said to let the tylenol wear off and see what the fever did then. If it reached 100.5, we needed to take him to Duke immediately. We kept a check on it through the night and it never got above 99.6. I know those of you who knew about the fever were praying fervently and now we can thank God for answering those prayers! I spoke to his doctor's nurse first thing this morning. She spoke to Dr. Walther and called back. He wants Billy to come in tomorrow for a chest x-ray and have his counts done again. He has had a cough since Friday so I guess they want to make sure he doesn't have something going on in his lungs that may have caused the fever. Thank you all so much for praying and we ask that you continue to lift Billy up to the great Physician. I will try to post updates as soon as I can. It is so touching to know that several of you had Billy on your mind first thing this morning. Thank you for calling, emailing and posting on Facebook so early this morning! We are so grateful to our Lord for surrounding us with such faithful prayer warriors!

White Blood Cells

Okay, we knew that chemo kills rapidly growing cancer cells, and we also knew that it could attack Billy's white blood cells. However, we weren't expecting it to attack so many of them! We found out today that his white blood cell count is 2200. Normal is 5000. I know! Not good! Since those little white blood cells are what fight off illnesses, Billy needs to be especially careful about not getting exposed to ANYTHING. His body is very susceptible to infection right now. I'm thinking those little blue face masks that doctors and nurses wear during surgery would be a great addition to his everyday attire! (I don't think he will agree with that though.) They want his count to be at least 3000 before next Monday ( Sept. 15 ), or they will have to postpone his second round of chemo until his counts are up. When I called him with the news, he very wisely decided to come home and rest. Do any of you know what kinds of foods/supplements he should be eating to boost his counts? His doctor's nurse said there isn't much he can do to boost them b/c the chemo is killing them off right now. Please pray that our Lord, the Master Physician and creator of Billy's innermost being, will knit an abundance of those white blood cells and keep him healthy through this. In spite of today's news, we praise our precious God and Father.

So Far So Good!

We've received a lot of emails and calls asking if everything is okay. It seems my lack of posts these last few days has some of you concerned! How very honored we are that you all are keeping such close tabs on Billy's progress. He is doing wonderfully well! He has been able to eat most anything I put in front of him. The only side effect he's had since returning home are these awful red bumps all over his face and body. He looks like a cross between a 15 year old going through puberty and a burn victim. I thought he was handsome when he was a zit-faced 15-year-old and I still think he is handsome, red bumps and all!

He has been going to work, but is taking it easy. He has a great group of guys on his crew that are not going to let him overdo it. I don't think they are letting him do much of anything at all to tell you the truth! He is blessed to work with such a great group of men. Being able to go in to work is allowing him to save what sick time he has left for the second and third rounds of chemo.

Once again, I need to express our gratitude for your calls, cards, emails, and texts. If the giver of the anonymous gift that arrived today is reading our blog, we want you to know that we are humbled and so very thankful. We are told in His word that God will provide and that all our needs will be met. It is through all of you that God is doing this. We humbly thank you for being His vessels!

Slowly But Surely!

Billy is slowly getting his appetite back. Yesterday, some friends brought us a delicious roast, potatoes, butterbeans, corn, and rolls. He was able to eat all of it and it actually tasted right to him. He even had extra servings of the roast. Later in the evening, he had another full plate. I've never been so happy to see him eat so much! We were pleasantly surprised last night by another friend bringing a french toast casserole for today's breakfast and home made potato soup for today's lunch. He ate two servings of the casserole this morning and a big bowl of the soup for lunch. We thank God that he is able to eat so well and we thank God for blessing us with so many wonderful friends who are looking after us during this time in our life. We truly are so blessed by your love for us!

Home Sweet Home

Yay!!! Billy was discharged from Duke this morning! We are so very happy just to be at home. He is very tired and has napped most of the day. I also took advantage of the beep-free environment and slept for a solid, uninterupted hour and a half today! Woo Hoo!!! The challenge now will be to find food that tastes good to Billy. So far, the only two things he has been able to eat that tastes right to him are a cheeseburger and a ham and cheese on a sun-dried tomato wrap. Time will tell...

As I look back on this past week, I am so very grateful for everyone's calls, cards, texts, and emails. You all have been a great source of encouragement! We thank our Lord for our family and friends! God has been so gracious in giving Billy strength and health through this intense week of chemo. We thank Him above all for being our portion this week!

Day Five of Round One

Today is day five of round one. Billy's fever reached 102.5 last night, which had me concerned. The doctors were sure it was just from them doubling the rate of his bleomycin, so they did not do any testing for infections. Each day I gain a new appreciation for the specialists that work here. They work here for a reason-they know their stuff! One hour after the bleomycin was finished dripping, Billy's fever began to drop. By 1:30am it was normal again! Praise God!!! He was actually able to sleep well in between bathroom runs so he woke up feeling better today. He is still extremely tired and hasn't left his room though. He has spent much of the day napping, as he should! He isn't feeling like eating much either. Nothing tastes good to him. The only thing he has eaten consistently is my homemade banana pudding. He couldn't eat the marange (sp?) last night, but has eaten two full helpings today. I'm not sure if it really still tastes good to him or if he is just eating it to make me feel good??? The doctors say he will be able to go home tomorrow. YAY!!! He will have two weeks at home to rest and then we'll be back here for Round Two. We are so very thankful for all of your prayers and continue to covet them.

Day Four of Round One

Today is day four of Billy's first round of chemo. This is the first day that he has shown any side effects. He has been very tired, so tired that he hasn't been down to get one cup of Starbuck's. He hasn't even had one sip of coffee today. Those of you who know him well, know how bad he is feeling to not have had any coffee. Around 3:30, he started running a fever and having cold chills. A little while later a headache was added to the mix. The nurse paged the doctor and when he called back, he said he is positive that this is a result of the increased rate of Bleomycin. This is the chemo that they have been dripping into his IV over a 24 hour period for the last two days. He was suppose to start the third bag at 5am this morning, but due to some delays yesterday and last night, they had to alter this chemo. They are now dripping at twice the rate so that it will be done in 12 hours. Getting this chemo twice as fast as usual is causing his body to react. (You think?!) They gave him some tylenol and it helped the headache some, but he is still running a fever. Please join us in telling Satan that he will not discourage our hearts- "If God is for us, who can be against us?~Romans 8:31!!!!!!!".
As I sit here reading God's word for something to write in this post that will express how we are feeling, God is pouring out His wisdom and encouragement.
We will continue to lean on the Lord for our strength and trust Him for Billy's healing. "We lift our eyes to the hills, where does our help come from? Our help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." ~Psalm 121:1-2
We will praise God in this storm. "Praise the Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul. We will praise the Lord all our life. We will sing praise to our God as long as we live." ~Psalm 146:1-2
We will hold firm to the fact that "we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." ~Romans 8:28
And we will thank God and praise Him in advance for what is yet to come. "We consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." ~Romans 8:18 and "And the God of all grace, who called Billy to His eternal glory in Christ, after he has suffered a little while, will Himself restore Billy and make him strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power forever and ever. Amen." ~1Peter 5:10-11 and finally, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4

I am so thankful for God's word, especially in a time like this when His is the only voice that can truly calm me.

Day Three of Round One

Today is Day Three of round one! I have been battling technical problems so I have had to do all three posts today. Billy has his little buddy with him today. This has made both of my boys very happy! He is able to lay here in his bed and get his chemo while cuddling with AJ. What a blessing! He is still feeling well despite sleep deprivation. We are so thankful God is keeping him well during his chemo. We know it could be a lot worse. It is still very difficult for me to watch them hang those bags of chemo and hook them into his port. The logical side of me cringes at the thought of poison being pumped through his veins, but we have to look at it as God using even something so toxic as chemo to heal Billy. I have to remind myself that God knows Billy's body better than anyone and can protect him from the dangers of chemo while allowing it to kill the cancer. Billy remains in good spirits and praises our God for everything, even this vey disease that has us here.

Day Two of Round One

Day Two and, although we aren't getting any sleep at night, Billy is still feeling fine. They have him on a tremendous amount of IV fluids as well as a diuretic to cause him to flush his kidneys quite regularly. This , along with those sweet little girls that come in all night to get vitals, is keeping us both from getting any real sleep. Each time he wakes to go to the restroom, I awake with a start, fearful that this will be the time he gets sick. So far, God is blessing him with a strong stomach. The lack of sleep is not bringing out the best in either of us so we were a bit touchy with each other in the morning. We realized that Satan was trying to attack the weak spots, prayed, and moved on. The day went by quickly and before we knew it, it was time for his second dose of chemo. He handled the second day just as well as the first! God is faithful!!! The picture is of Billy while on one if his "walkabouts", as he calls them. As a chemo patient, he is allowed to go wherever he wants-even outside! He just pulls his little IV pole with him. This has helped with the cabin fever. All of you know how very restless he is when he is made to stay inside. Getting out and about really lifts his spirits. We went outside last night to get some fresh air and on the way back in, the security guard asked us if we had an overnight pass. Ha! Billy and I pointed at the IV pole and he said to the security guard, "Does this count?" This cracked us up!

Day One of Round One

On Monday, Aug. 25, 2008, Billy was admitted to Duke University Medical Center for his first round of chemotherapy. The picture on the far right is Billy's little buddy telling him goodbye before he left. The picture on the left is of Billy the moment they began his first dose of chemo on Day one. Yes, that is a Starbuck's cup in his hand! The cafeteria here brews Starbuck's coffee so that has made his time here a bit more bearable. We waited anxiously to see if he would be as sick as the doctors had warned. Prior to the first dose, they gave him massive amounts of two anti-nausea meds. They worked! He went through the first day with no problems-Praise God!!! Thank you all for your prayers!!

A Challenging Season

As most of you know, on July 22, 2008, Billy was diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. Right away, the doctors assured us that this type of cancer has a 95% cure rate. His doctor is the Chief of Surgical Oncology at Duke Medical Center so he was in the best hands. He and his team of specialists agreed that immediate surgery was necessary. They planned to remove one testicle and would try to save the other. There was also a lymph node in his groin that was enlarged so they planned to biopsy that. They planned to do surgery as an outpatient surgery on the 24th of July, just two days later. That first day was very emotional as we went from one test to the next test unable to be alone and deal with the flood of emotions we were experiencing. We finally were able to seek the quiet and solitude of our home late that evening.

As scary as the word cancer is, we knew from the beginning that we were going to have to trust that God was in control and had a purpose for even this. And from the very beginning, God has spoken to us through His word. The scriptures breathed hope and promises to us daily. We have been holding onto John 11:4 where Jesus says, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."

We had an unbelievable amount of love and support the day of the surgery. While Billy was in surgery I was surrounded by family and family in Christ. We camped out in the various waiting rooms and cafeterias at Duke for most of the day. The doctors ended up having to take both testicles because they were both "a mess." They also removed the enlarged lymph node in the groin. They did a freeze biopsy on each testicle right as they removed them and they were both cancerous. One was non-seminomatous germ cell, and the other was seminomatous germ cell. Due to the non-seminoma (a faster spreading cancer), they decided not to let him go home that night, but to keep him for furhter testing. They wanted to do a CT scan to determine whether or not the cancer had already spread to other organs or lymph systems.

The CT scan was done around 2 am Friday morning and we got the results from a resident the next morning. There was no signs of metasticism. Oh how we rejoiced at that news! Our relief was short-lived though. Dr. Moul called Billy on Monday to check on him and said that he had reviewed the CT scan and found a lymph node in his abdomen that was enlarged, but not enough to be considered pathological. It was large enough to raise his suspisions so he wanted to do chemo. Words we did not want to hear! We held on to the hope that the chemo would just be minimal.

Three weeks later, on Aug. 19, Billy went in for his follow-up. They did the labs and his cancer markers were not zero. This indicated that the cancer was still present somewhere, most likely in that questionable lymph node in his abdomen. They explained that Billy's case was "rare" because he had cancer in both testicles at the same time (it usually only occurs in one at a time), and his case was "freaky" because each testicle had a different kind of cancer (seminoma and non-seminoma). This means that the cancer didn't spread from one to the other but occured independently. This information along with the enlarged lymph node and elevated cancer markers resulted in the decision to attack with aggressive chemotherapy. Definitely words we didn't want to hear.

His chemotherapy schedule will be as follows: One week in the hospital being infused with three different chemos while having 24-hour hydration via IV in order to protect his kidneys from being fried. He'll then have a two-week break and repeat the cycle two more times. A total of three 21-day cycles. Two days later, on Aug. 21, 2008, Billy underwent a second surgery to implant a port in his chest.

We ask for your prayers during this uncertain and scary time. We feel God's peace on us and pray that He will use us and this situation during our extended time at Duke. We truly feel like we are just His vessels and this too will pass. We don't look forward to going through it, but know that He will go through it with us. Please pray for His work to be done in us and through us!

A Day with Aspen

Dragonflies

We took a canoe trip on the James River yesterday. The whole trip was lots of fun with some unexpected educational moments. We realized early on in our trip that it was mating season for dragonflies (namely the Damselfly species). I spent a good part of the day observing the amazing process. Here is my theory based on my up close and personal research. The male attaches his head to the end of the female's tail. Then he bends his tail underneath himself and uses this tiny thorn looking thing on the end of his own tail to scratch a spot on the female's underside. This results in a thorny thing poking out of the female's underside. The male's thorn connects to the female just below her thorn and the female's thorn connects to the male just above his thorn. Once connected they can fly around without separating. This picture shows the shape they make once connected. God is amazing! Now I know dragonflies don't fall in love, get married, and then mate, but I think it is so cool that they form a heart shape while mating!

Happy Birthday America!

We got a jump on the festivities last night! Since we are waking up very early in the morning for a canoe trip, we opted to watch the fireworks displayed last night rather than staying up late tonight for them. They were beautiful as always. We had a perfect spot for viewing them. These are some of my favorites captured on hmmm....not film, but...screen? Anyway, I took some pics! Enjoy-feel free to "oooo" and "ahhhh." We did! :)

Good Form

AJ has been in Golf Camp this Summer. I think this may be the sport for him. He loves it and has fun playing it. Being the one who takes him each week, I have become rather fond of the game myself. I have never had the least bit of interest in the sport, but I can see now it is because I never bothered to play before. I look forward to going with him each week. This is a great family activity that we can all do together without one or two of us just sitting and watching. I look forward to many years of golfing!

Camp Fun!

AJ went to church camp for the first time this year! Of course, he wasn't on his own just yet. I got to go along as a counselor for the girls. It allowed me to be close by for AJ and to relive some of my youth. We both had so much fun. The camp was phenominal-great food, fabulous pool, and airconditioned houses!! The only "roughin' it" we did was not getting enough sleep and the sleep we did get was on mattresses that felt more like boxed springs-hard as a concrete slab. I enjoyed a lot of "girly" time with the girls in my cabin and AJ enjoyed being one of the guys for a whole week.

They got a lot of pool time as you can see in the pics (two hours during the day and an hour and a half at night). This pool was like a water park! It had two tubular slides; you had to climb one of those Chick-fil-a type towers to get to the top-one slide had two full twists and the other was just super fast. They also had a volleyball net across part of the pool and two basketball goals. The shallow end had these fountains that the boys enjoyed sitting on, making very funny pictures!

AJ's favorite part of the week was "chapel and swimming." His favorite songs were "You Are Holy (Prince of Peace)" and the "Go, go, go song" as he calls it. (It is actually the Matthew 28:19-20 song.) I am praying that he takes it to heart and indeed does go out into all the nations making disciples of them. It was a special week spending time in nature praising our Creator and Savior! Can't wait for next year! :)